For years, I struggled with resentment and would not let go of those who had hurt me in the past. I would literally work myself up by sautéing my mind in negative memories. Sometimes, I wasn’t even aware of what I was doing to myself.
Don McLaughlin, an influential mentor of mine, was the first to shed light on the issue. When I asked him about resentment he, ever so frankly, explained the following:
“When you constantly think about those who have hurt you and replay the events, it zaps your energy and occupies your mind. Not only are you giving them so much undeserved attention, you are preventing the event from becoming a memory and cannot learn or grow from it. This can only lead to you not being hurt ONCE by the perpetrator, but you are allowing them to hurt you over and over and over again.”
These words stuck with me as I had experienced it in practice. I then embarked on the constant journey of forgiving and trying to move on. Ultimately, it paved the way for greater things as I had, simply, made room in my mind for more positive things. It is something I practice everyday no matter how big or small.
My message to you is FORGIVE. Don’t try and forget because you never will fully. Learn from everything and everybody – even if it’s what NOT to do. Clean your mind. Make way with the old and welcome the new. Forgive those who have harmed you and, most importantly, forgive YOURSELF!